Tuesday, May 10, 2011

A Day In the Life of a Mom Waiting to Adopt

While we are waiting to adopt, will you "like" our Facebook page?

There is so much I could say about this topic, so let's see where my tired mind takes me.

Today, one of the highlights I experienced was to have our minister write on our Facebook page saying something to the affect that we would be great parents and have lots of love to offer. We go to a big church, and she helped us get through our failed adoption in February, so it meant a lot that she took the time to reach out to us and for us. Never estimate how something small can have a big impact on a person--thank your Reverend Beth!

Waiting to adopt can feel so helpless. What many of us do is occasionally look down at our phones to make sure they are turned on in the event it is our time for "the call." It's always turned on, but it is a compulsion that is necessary each day. You know, the day I don't pay attention to it we will get a call. That happened while we were at Disney World--not only did we have crappy cell service, but we were caught up in enjoying the moment. Sure enough, the adoption agency called with a potential situation, and it took me a full 24 hours to realize it!

It is so hard not knowing when the phone will ring. Do you plan your life as if nothing is going to happen? Or, make everything tentative? I fall somewhere in between. In reality, you have to go on as if no call is coming, or I believe one would go further into madness.

Our nursery is ready, and friends have been generous enough to give us lots of clothes to get us started. Although, the clothing donations are mostly stopping after our failed adoption. I guess people don't want to acknowledge it or something, which is too bad because we are okay talking about it and are ready to move on. I'll admit, I sometimes go back and look at his pictures--sometimes just to make sure it really happened to us. It did. And he was beautiful, but meant for someone else.

There are lots of ways to spend money to make you feel like you are doing something to help the adoption process. Occasionally, I do spend a little bit of money to network amongst people who might know a potential birth mother. Our adoption agency has smartly asked us not to spend money on a bunch of marketing, and instead have it ready for a last minute call. They want to make sure we can afford whatever situation comes our way. We passed on a birth mother situation last month because it was going to mean $25,000 on top of the fees we had already paid, plus a lot of risk with the situation they presented. There was no way we could go that route, so we passed it on to the next family (and pray it all works out for them).

I am on lots of adoption bulletin boards, and it has been interesting to see how many people struggled with mother's day. I guess we can count our blessings that we have a beautiful child who made our mother's day amazing. Even so, I found myself at times longing for our future baby.

I know so many people who have adopted babies in the last few weeks. They are all the most amazing babies you have ever seen. The kind you just want to scoop up and kiss all over. I am so VERY happy for all the new adoptive parents, but wonder when it will be our turn. Tomorrow? Next month? Two months from now? Who knows.

I am distracting myself with work and contemplating some home renovations to keep myself busy--that is when I am not running Maggie around town.

I also feel like if I could get lots of people to sign up on our Adoption Facebook page, we would increase our chances of someone who knows someone who knows someone wanting to place for adoption. Figuring out how to get people to "like" your page has proved more difficult.

I am so incredibly gracious to our friends who have taken the time to go to our Adoption Facebook page and click the "like" button at top. It is one of those Facebook features that many people get confused about how to actually "like" a page. Most people click like for the post, but you actually have to go to the page and click the "like" button up top.  Those of you who have done this have a special place in our hearts. We know a village can help us achieve our goals.

This waiting to adopt is hard. So much uncertainty. Maggie so wants to be a big sister. Yet, we can't really control how quickly we adopt, and our child doesn't understand this. For her sake alone, I hope God answers our prayers for a new angel in our family sometime soon.

Thanks for listening. I would love to talk more about this when I am not brain dead.

No comments:

Post a Comment