Well, we made it through another busy weekend. Truth be told, we always have busy weekends, especially since Maggie was born.
I was so planning on being organized for our photo shoot on Saturday. Friday, I was planning on trying on different outfits to see what looked best for us to wear Saturday. That didn't happen. Maggie talked us into letting her sleep in our room Friday, and we all ended up going to sleep by 8:30! I woke back up about 10:30 and stayed up late, but it was too late for anything like planning our clothes--especially since Lisa was sound asleep. The weather still couldn't make up its mind whether it was going to Winter or Spring-like, so that definitely added to the challenge.
So, instead of being super organized, we woke up late Saturday and rushed to get everyone showered and simply clothed before the noon photo shoot. You wouldn't think that would have been such a difficult task, but everyone was tired and we all slept too late. We like to relax in the morning if we don't have to be at work or school, and sometimes we take that relaxation a little too far and misjudge our timing of getting ready.
I hope the clothes we wore were okay. Of course, Maggie always looks amazing, so that won't be an issue. Hopefully, our photographer, Ian, took such great photos that you won't even notice what we are wearing. Though, I am a little skeptical of the photos. Since we weren't relaxed like I had hoped, and we took so many photos, I feel like I am going to look like I had this phoney looking fake smile on my face (let alone my other imperfections). Oh, and did I mention my 6 year old daughter woke up with her first pimple on her face that day! Oh well. It is done. I am just hoping for the best.
Right after the photo shoot Maggie had her first soccer game of the season. She hadn't practiced with the team yet since her practice was rained out the Wednesday before, but we eventually managed to find the team and get in the game. Maggie looked adorable in her little soccer uniform. Her little legs look so athletic, so it will be interesting to see if she takes to soccer now that she is a little older. I thought she did really well given she didn't know anyone and hadn't played on a soccer team since she was 3 (if you could call 3 year old soccer "playing"). After the game, we went and bought some new shin guards and cleats, which I should have done before the game. They told me the kids at this age didn't need cleats, etc., but when we got there those kids were all decked out and taking the game quite seriously.
Sunday we had to face the lost hour of sleep through day-light's saving time. We all felt rough for what was an especially busy day for us. Lisa and Maggie spent a long mornng/afternoon at church, while I took care of some things at home. After church, I was on duty for the pop star birthday party Maggie was attending, and then followed by a Daisy Girl Scout meeting. Maggie looked exhausted by the end of Daisy Scouts, but if you know my girl, she was so "I am not tired, who can I have a play date with?"
We had to call it a day for her own good. Lisa worked with Maggie on her reading while I went to the grocery store for some much needed groceries. Before we had Maggie, Lisa and I could live off of no groceries for days as long as we had soda in the fridge. Now, we keep much better eating habits.
I made dinner because I realized we were getting way out of control with eating out. We have been allowing ourselves to eat out a lot more since the adoption fell apart. Typically we try to limit eating out so we can eat healthier and have a nice family meal around our dinner table. Plus, we realized after taking our Dave Ramsey Financial Peace course that we were spending a ton of money on eating out that could be better spent elsewhere. Needless to say, I bought enough groceries so we can start eating home more most of the time.
Hopefully this week we will see our new adoption website. I know there is a draft that the design person is working on, so I am anxious to see it when it is done. I think we are ready to step up our marketing so we can get our profile in front of more birthmothers.
I read an article this morning about a local woman who wrote a book about her adoption journey. Her name is Rebecca Falco, and she has 5 children through open adoption. Though it made me feel optimistic that we can adopt again, it also made me frustrated that she has 5 children through open adoption, and we are struggling to add a second child to our family. I am sure if I read her book it wasn't as easy as it looks on the outside.
Peace!
Kathy
Showing posts with label wanting to adopt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wanting to adopt. Show all posts
Monday, March 14, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Busy days can be a good distraction
Today, just whizzed right by and I am not sure how much or what I accomplished. Lisa has been home sick with a fever, so I have tried to keep her quarantined in bed. She is a terrible patient and keeps getting back up to help around the house. It is tough for one person to keep this house going with 3 dogs, 1 cat, and a 6 year old.
Maggie reports she had a good day at school (this is the same for everyday :-)). Her teacher said she was able to count to 1000 today. Math is really starting to click with her (I hope reading comes soon, too). She was not happy with me when I told her we were not staying on the play ground in the rain and cold after school. She didn't see anything wrong with playing in the cold rain. She forgot all about it after I took her to buy some new dresses at TJ Maxx (they have the best deals on nice dresses for little girls). I couldn't help but laugh when she and I fought about how we could not buy every dress in her size. My mother so would have loved to have this kid since I wanted nothing to do with dresses as a kid.
After our dress shopping, we headed over to Maggie's karate class. Her Sensei was so glad to see her and commented on how strong Maggie is becoming. In the middle of class, he came over to me in front of the other moms and asked where we were for February since we missed the entire month. I had told him before we left that we were going to possibly adopt a child, but I guess he has too many kids to keep up. Nonetheless, I couldn't bring myself to blurt out in front of everyone that we had been in Louisiana trying to adopt a baby and that it didn't work out. I guess I will e-mail him tonight and let him know what happened because I am guessing he will eventually remember or Maggie will give it up in the middle of class one day.
After karate we headed home so Maggie could get ready for bed, and I could head over to the kid's consignment sale to see if there is anything I needed to get for our future baby or possibly Maggie. If you have never been to a consignment sale, it is quite the experience of elbowing other moms and a few dads so you can get the best deals first. All the best deals are gone in the first 30 minutes of this 3 day sale.
I can't believe how much stuff I bought. I bought Maggie a ton of summer dresses and skorts (she no longer wants to wear shorts).
I got a Baby Trend Snap-n-Go stroller to put our car seat in. I never had one with Maggie, but apparently they are great to get around in. I also bought a few baby toys fully knowing that I had better stop doing so because the kid hasn't even been born yet and the room is filling up with toys! Our nursery currently looks like a storage room for Babies r Us. Maybe this weekend we will get it all organized again. We have pretty much stayed out of it since we have been back from Louisiana. At least it doesn't bother me as much to look at it.
Our adoption caseworker e-mailed me twice today (that's a big day for us since she is usually so busy). Once to say they finally changed our pictures on their adoption website, and another time to tell me how many birthmothers saw our adoption profile. Sometimes they even tell you if you were picked as a second or third choice by a birthmother, which always makes us feel a little better. No such luck this month. We were only back in the books for 2 weeks in February, and our profile was shown to 4 birthmothers, which is about what we have averaged in the past (8 per month).
We are planning to step up our adoption marketing efforts over the coming weeks. I am excited that we are meeting with a professional photographer this weekend so we can get some nice photos. Even if we don't end up using them for the adoption, I am excited to have them for our family. Though our house is filled with wall-to-wall photographs, we actually haven't had many done professionally.
I am all worked up about what Lisa and I are going to wear since we won't be able to change once we get to our location. It will be casual, but I want to have the right color combination, etc. I am constantly looking at the weather forecast trying to at least know whether we need to be thinking about Spring or Winter clothes since the temperature is going back and forth. I probably should be more worried about whether Lisa is going to be well enough for the shoot at this point.
I guess I better get to folding the laundry before bed since I promised Lisa I would have it done and she could go back to bed. Last night I was up super late, and then had to take a nap after I took Maggie to school this morning. A therapist friend of ours told us that sleeping was probably one of the best things we could do to heal from our failed adoption, so I have been taking a few morning naps to follow her advice. I guess sooner or later, I need to give that up, but a first start in that direction will be going to bed at a reasonable hour :-)
Maggie reports she had a good day at school (this is the same for everyday :-)). Her teacher said she was able to count to 1000 today. Math is really starting to click with her (I hope reading comes soon, too). She was not happy with me when I told her we were not staying on the play ground in the rain and cold after school. She didn't see anything wrong with playing in the cold rain. She forgot all about it after I took her to buy some new dresses at TJ Maxx (they have the best deals on nice dresses for little girls). I couldn't help but laugh when she and I fought about how we could not buy every dress in her size. My mother so would have loved to have this kid since I wanted nothing to do with dresses as a kid.
After our dress shopping, we headed over to Maggie's karate class. Her Sensei was so glad to see her and commented on how strong Maggie is becoming. In the middle of class, he came over to me in front of the other moms and asked where we were for February since we missed the entire month. I had told him before we left that we were going to possibly adopt a child, but I guess he has too many kids to keep up. Nonetheless, I couldn't bring myself to blurt out in front of everyone that we had been in Louisiana trying to adopt a baby and that it didn't work out. I guess I will e-mail him tonight and let him know what happened because I am guessing he will eventually remember or Maggie will give it up in the middle of class one day.
After karate we headed home so Maggie could get ready for bed, and I could head over to the kid's consignment sale to see if there is anything I needed to get for our future baby or possibly Maggie. If you have never been to a consignment sale, it is quite the experience of elbowing other moms and a few dads so you can get the best deals first. All the best deals are gone in the first 30 minutes of this 3 day sale.
I can't believe how much stuff I bought. I bought Maggie a ton of summer dresses and skorts (she no longer wants to wear shorts).
I got a Baby Trend Snap-n-Go stroller to put our car seat in. I never had one with Maggie, but apparently they are great to get around in. I also bought a few baby toys fully knowing that I had better stop doing so because the kid hasn't even been born yet and the room is filling up with toys! Our nursery currently looks like a storage room for Babies r Us. Maybe this weekend we will get it all organized again. We have pretty much stayed out of it since we have been back from Louisiana. At least it doesn't bother me as much to look at it.
Our adoption caseworker e-mailed me twice today (that's a big day for us since she is usually so busy). Once to say they finally changed our pictures on their adoption website, and another time to tell me how many birthmothers saw our adoption profile. Sometimes they even tell you if you were picked as a second or third choice by a birthmother, which always makes us feel a little better. No such luck this month. We were only back in the books for 2 weeks in February, and our profile was shown to 4 birthmothers, which is about what we have averaged in the past (8 per month).
We are planning to step up our adoption marketing efforts over the coming weeks. I am excited that we are meeting with a professional photographer this weekend so we can get some nice photos. Even if we don't end up using them for the adoption, I am excited to have them for our family. Though our house is filled with wall-to-wall photographs, we actually haven't had many done professionally.
I am all worked up about what Lisa and I are going to wear since we won't be able to change once we get to our location. It will be casual, but I want to have the right color combination, etc. I am constantly looking at the weather forecast trying to at least know whether we need to be thinking about Spring or Winter clothes since the temperature is going back and forth. I probably should be more worried about whether Lisa is going to be well enough for the shoot at this point.
I guess I better get to folding the laundry before bed since I promised Lisa I would have it done and she could go back to bed. Last night I was up super late, and then had to take a nap after I took Maggie to school this morning. A therapist friend of ours told us that sleeping was probably one of the best things we could do to heal from our failed adoption, so I have been taking a few morning naps to follow her advice. I guess sooner or later, I need to give that up, but a first start in that direction will be going to bed at a reasonable hour :-)
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Oh February, You Were Such a Difficult Month
I have not written or spoken much about our February because I am just now in a place to do so. I write about this experience because it is now part of who we are as a family. It is part of our story.
Normally, February is all about Maggie's birthday, Valentine's Day (one of our two anniversaries), and the beautiful memory of Maggie's adoption. Not this year. In 2011, we were looking at adopting our second child from a birthmother in Louisiana.
We were expecting the birth of our son on February 7th, so with all the excitement that soon-to-be parents have, we went out and bought everything we would need for a new baby. The nursery was fully decorated, the baby's name on the wall, and we were packed and ready to go.
At the request of our birthmother, we headed to Louisiana a week before the c-section date to keep her company and to help her around the house. It was the least we could do since this woman was about to make our dreams come true with a second baby. We had been matched with our birthmother for 4 months, and we had visited her over this past Thanksgiving.
So off we went in our car jam-packed with all our belongings and all the stuff a new baby would need. We had a lot of stuff because we didn't know how long we would be holed up in a hotel room before the adoption powers that be would give us permission to take the baby home.
Maggie, our 6 year old daughter, was with us and she was so excited to be adding a baby brother or sister to our family. We tried our best to explain to her that we didn't know for sure yet that the adoption was going to happen (all the while we were so excited because we felt so certain that this adoption would happen because the birthmother was so committed to the adoption plan).
We finally reached the evening before the baby was to be born. We had dinner with our birthmother and her boyfriend who was not the birthfather, and everyone was feeling a mixture of excitement and nervousness about the next morning. The birthmother was afraid because she was having a c-section, but she was also excited to have her pregnancy over because it had been a very difficult one. We took some photos after dinner, and agreed to be back at our birthmother's house in the middle of the night to take her to the hospital.
With only a few hours of sleep on everyone's part, we arrived at the hospital to be checked in and to wait for the morning c-section. The hospital was nice enough to give adoptive parents their own room, so we set that up too. Our birthmother decided she did not want to see the baby after it was born, at least, not at the hospital. She thought that would make it easier for her, so we agreed to the level of contact she asked for.
After about four hours of waiting by our birthmother's side at the hospital, her phone rings. It was a guy named Mike who wanted to come up to the hospital. At first, I didn't think anything of it since the father of her first child is named Mike, and I assumed it was him. With 30 minutes to go before the c-section, everything seemed to be going perfectly. Wrong.
A nice-looking gentleman who looked like he had been out the entire night before shows up and says "if this is my baby, I may or may not sign the adoption paperwork." My whole world crashed in on me. After hearing our birthmother and this gentleman exchange many cuss words with each other, I had to go tell Lisa what was happening, as she was preparing to go into surgery for the c-section with our birthmother.
I can't tell you all the emotions running through my body. I'm the one who is good in a crisis, but this one was a massive one. I did my best to hold it together. I spoke to Mike, and told him about our family, our adoption plans, and tried to determine what he meant by maybe he would sign the paperwork, and maybe he wouldn't. He wasn't clear by what he meant because he really didn't know what his plans were if the baby was his. This was a young man struggling to take care of himself without any income, a significant criminal history, and was actively addicted to prescription drugs.
At this point in the process, we literally had 4 attorneys, 3 adoption agencies, and 3 social workers involved. Everyone was giving us advice. All I wanted to know was what should I do to protect my daughter in this situation since she was in the waiting room waiting for what she hoped was her baby brother to be born. Finally, my Georgia attorney said to get her out of the hospital and take her back to the hotel room. Since it was just the 3 of us, that meant leaving Lisa at the hospital for the c-section and birth of what may or may not be our son.
In a slow-motion panic, I swooped up Maggie and told her we have to go back to the hotel room. She knows this is not part of the script as she knew we were waiting for the baby to be born. I hadn't thought everything through, so when she asked me why we were leaving, I LIED and told her we weren't sure everything was okay with the baby's health, and that Mia (her name for her other mom) was going to stay and see how the baby is doing.
I could barely drive us back to the hotel. I was in another world, but Maggie needed me to be her parent. Fortunately, after a few questions, my no-napping child fell asleep on the way back (the advantage of being up since the middle of the night). I carried her up to the hotel room and put her on the bed. I cried, made some phone calls, and cried some more. After talking to some friends, I realized I couldn't leave Lisa at the hospital alone, even though I was very concerned about Maggie's well-being if she saw the baby.
The baby had been born a healthy 6 pounds 9 ounces, and Lisa had him in our adoptive parent suite and was working with the nurse to do all the things you do with a newborn. I was missing everything a new parent wants to experience with their new baby.
I finally decided to explain to Maggie that the baby's health was okay, and that Mia was at the hospital with him, but that we still did not know if we would be adopting him or not. I told her while we were waiting to see if we were going to adopt him, we were going to take care of him like babysitters. Against at least one of our attorney's advice, we opted to take care of him while we sorted this all out. The hospital did not have a nursery, so there would have been no one to take care of him since the birthmother was still planning on the adoption and did not want to see the baby.
When I saw this beautiful baby, and my beautiful wife taking care of him, my heart instantly melted. Maggie jumped up on the hospital bed and wanted to hold him. We showed her how and she was so proud of the idea of being a big sister.
These moments were some of the most difficult moments of my life. How do you hold a newborn that may or may not be yours? How do you try to protect yourself and your family from getting heartbroken? I was the one often reminding everyone that we don't know if this is going to be our baby or not. Yes, I was the kill-joy, but I was trying my best to protect us all. Looking down at this angelic baby and not being able to say welcome to the world, we are your family was so heartbreaking. I wasn't sure what to tell him other than we loved him.
Believe it or not, we never saw this situation coming. We knew adoptions could fall apart, but we always expected it would come from the birthmother, not from someone we didn't even know existed. Since we knew how committed our birthmother was all the way through the birthing process, we had a hard time comprehending what was happening.
When I first met Mike, even though he was only one of three possible birthfathers, and had never been able to get a woman pregnant before, I knew in my gut that he was the birthfather. And when I saw that precious baby for the first time, I knew even more it was going to be his baby with the baby's beautiful black hair.
On the day the baby was born, we arranged to have a rushed paternity test done since that was the logical step to take. Though we paid for 24 hour results, it actually took us 3 days to get the results back.
During that time, we tried everything under the sun to get the birthfather to agree to the adoption. But, once he learned it was his and it was a baby boy, he started to become more clear that he wanted to keep the baby. He told us that if it had been a girl, he probably would have let us adopt her.
The paternity test finally came back and our worst fears came true. It was his.
By this time, Child Protective Services was involved because the baby tested positive for drugs when he was born (he went through withdrawal the first 3 days). They were fully aware of the situation and told us we could not just give the baby to the birthfather if the paternity test came back positive because of his drug and criminal record. Plus, the birthmother had decided that she wasn't going to let him have the baby, and that if we couldn't have him, she would take him. This was a big risk for her because CPS explained to her that she could end up losing both of her kids if she took the baby home.
Not knowing what to do, but definitely wanting to protect this baby in the meantime, we took him back to our hotel room. We cried many tears. Cursed a lot when Maggie was asleep. Talked to a couple of trusted friends who understood the beauty and despair that can come with open adoption. Spoke to lots of attorneys to get their opinions.
Two out of four of our attorneys thought we should fight for the baby and that we would win the case based on the fitness of the birthparents. Another of our attorneys thought we could probably win, but asked us if this is how we wanted to spend the first year of our son's life. It was a lot to think about, and made especially more difficult by looking down at this amazing, vulnerable little baby. He was so incredibly beautiful. The face of an angel.
The baby was born Monday, and it was now Friday. We gave our birthmother a deadline on how long we could do this before a decision would be made. We had told her that something would need to be decided Friday, and if we couldn't make any progress, we were bringing the baby to her on Saturday.
Our birthmother was crying asking us what we wanted her to do. She would do anything to try to fix the situation (including at one point suggesting she could have the birthfather killed by a family member of hers--she meant this). So, we set up one last meeting with the birthfather, birthmother, and the birthfather's mother at a local I-Hop restaurant. The baby, Lisa and Maggie stayed back at the hotel. At this point, none of his biological family had seen him or even a picture.
The birthfather explained how he wanted to get back with the birthmother and raise the child together, which was a complicated proposal considering she had been living with her boyfriend at the time. They argued. The birthmother did her best to plead with him, but it was hard since she was extremely high on pain medication from the c-section. She had taken 30 Oxycodeine in 29 hours since being released from the hospital. It was a wonder she was functioning at all (I am not sure what it would have taken for her to overdose).
The birth grandmother was rational, calm, and likeable. Her son was likeable, too. She suggested that she should take custody of the baby while this was all getting sorted out. I asked the birthmother if this is something she would consider, and she said "hell no."
At one point after the four of us had talked for an hour, I looked across the table and felt like the birthfather was just like my brother Joe. Both very nice and likeable people, and both thinking that keeping their child regardless of the situation they were in would be the best decision.
It occurred to me that I would not want anyone to take a child from my brother if he decided he wanted to keep it, regardless of whether I thought he would be a good parent or not. I also thought about how this is not what we envisioned for our adoption. We like open adoption because people choose to place for adoption, and they get to choose who will parent the baby. Somehow we had really gotten off course. I guess holding a newborn in your arms can do that.
At that moment at the I-Hop, I showed everyone the photos of this beautiful baby I had on my phone. Everyone was so happy to see him, and so appreciative of me sharing the photos with them. The strangeness of this moment will stick with me forever. Afterall, he was technically not my baby, yet we had custody of him over all these people biologically related to him.
We left the I-Hop having changed no one's mind, and having seen that the birthfather had his mom to help raise this child. I knew this woman was a good woman who knew how to take care of a baby and had the resources to do so.
At a red light, I sent a text message to Lisa telling her to pack up our things. Unfortunately, she thought that was good news, and I had to re-text her and tell her no, we were leaving without the baby.
On the longest car ride back to the birthmother's house, she asked what we were going to do. I told her I was going to go get the baby and bring him to her. I cried. She sat mostly in silence, occasionally saying a few cuss words. I tried to keep it together, but kept losing it every few minutes. She suggested she could have another baby for us, and I could only utter out a "no."
I had nothing more to say to our birthmother because she could have prevented this from happening had she told us about this guy and his desire to parent (she knew this before the delivery day we eventually realized). It wasn't that I was so much angry with her, but more I just couldn't even talk to her anymore. The pain I was experiencing was the worst I had felt in my entire life.
I was spent. I had done all I could do to "fix" the situation. God had clearly intended for us to not have this baby, which was so hard to accept after caring for him for 5 days. His angelic face will stay with me forever.
Our emotions were at their worst, but we tried our best to keep them contained for our daughter's sake. She saw us crying again, and said she just wanted to go home. The next day was her birthday, so we agreed to get home in time for her birthday. We didn't care that we had already paid for the hotel room. We just needed to get out of there.
I called the social worker at CPS and explained to him what was happening. I wanted him to come get the baby and take him back, but he wouldn't saying something about state policy. I then wanted to take the baby to the hospital where he was born since we knew the staff there, but they would not allow us to do that either (so much for safe haven laws). Our attorney advised us to take the baby directly back to the birthmother since she is the one who gave us custody, so as hard as I knew this would be, I agreed to it.
We drove our precious baby over to our birthmother's house, crying as quietly as we could (Maggie already had headphones on watching a movie in the car). Lisa refused to get out of the car, and I definitely didn't want Maggie to go in. This was not a happy occasion. It was the hardest thing I had ever done.
As much as I tried not to bond with this baby, it was too late. I loved him like I had known him my whole life. He was a part of me, and God was making me give him back (yes, that is how I looked at it). My wife and daughter were devastated, and both needed me to help them get through this.
I gave our birthmother the things I had for him so she would have some stuff to take care of him. She said her boyfriend was at the store buying some things for him, which I pray was true.
I went back to the car and had Lisa and Maggie say goodbye to the baby. I picked up his tiny body out of his car seat and carried him into her house. I held him and hugged him, and could barely feel anything as the moment was so surreal. I handed him to our birthmother who was out of it from the pain medications she was taking, and pleaded with her to please take care of him. I glanced in the kitchen and saw the oven door was still open because this was her only source of heat on this cold day. I remember her saying how light he was, and then didn't hear her anymore.
I kissed his forehead and said "Goodbye, my angel. I love you."
And from that moment on, I cried for almost an entire month both internally and externally. I never would have guessed that this experience would feel like having a child die. The first two weeks were extremely difficult, but we are doing better, but still feeling some depression over the loss of the baby. Our six year old is still sorting out her confusion about what happened. I suppose time will help us heal.
We pray this precious baby ends up living a good life somehow, and that our worst fears for him don't come true. We spoke to the grandmother 4 days after we first left. She still hadn't seen him, but she had a picture of him that she sent us. I was relieved just knowing he was still alive. The grandmother was sorry for our loss, and there wasn't much more to be said. We don't imagine talking to our birthmother, or probably anyone from that situation again.
It is time for us to move on.
We are comforted knowing one day the right baby will find us. We pray God shows us the way.
Normally, February is all about Maggie's birthday, Valentine's Day (one of our two anniversaries), and the beautiful memory of Maggie's adoption. Not this year. In 2011, we were looking at adopting our second child from a birthmother in Louisiana.
We were expecting the birth of our son on February 7th, so with all the excitement that soon-to-be parents have, we went out and bought everything we would need for a new baby. The nursery was fully decorated, the baby's name on the wall, and we were packed and ready to go.
At the request of our birthmother, we headed to Louisiana a week before the c-section date to keep her company and to help her around the house. It was the least we could do since this woman was about to make our dreams come true with a second baby. We had been matched with our birthmother for 4 months, and we had visited her over this past Thanksgiving.
So off we went in our car jam-packed with all our belongings and all the stuff a new baby would need. We had a lot of stuff because we didn't know how long we would be holed up in a hotel room before the adoption powers that be would give us permission to take the baby home.
Maggie, our 6 year old daughter, was with us and she was so excited to be adding a baby brother or sister to our family. We tried our best to explain to her that we didn't know for sure yet that the adoption was going to happen (all the while we were so excited because we felt so certain that this adoption would happen because the birthmother was so committed to the adoption plan).
We finally reached the evening before the baby was to be born. We had dinner with our birthmother and her boyfriend who was not the birthfather, and everyone was feeling a mixture of excitement and nervousness about the next morning. The birthmother was afraid because she was having a c-section, but she was also excited to have her pregnancy over because it had been a very difficult one. We took some photos after dinner, and agreed to be back at our birthmother's house in the middle of the night to take her to the hospital.
With only a few hours of sleep on everyone's part, we arrived at the hospital to be checked in and to wait for the morning c-section. The hospital was nice enough to give adoptive parents their own room, so we set that up too. Our birthmother decided she did not want to see the baby after it was born, at least, not at the hospital. She thought that would make it easier for her, so we agreed to the level of contact she asked for.
After about four hours of waiting by our birthmother's side at the hospital, her phone rings. It was a guy named Mike who wanted to come up to the hospital. At first, I didn't think anything of it since the father of her first child is named Mike, and I assumed it was him. With 30 minutes to go before the c-section, everything seemed to be going perfectly. Wrong.
A nice-looking gentleman who looked like he had been out the entire night before shows up and says "if this is my baby, I may or may not sign the adoption paperwork." My whole world crashed in on me. After hearing our birthmother and this gentleman exchange many cuss words with each other, I had to go tell Lisa what was happening, as she was preparing to go into surgery for the c-section with our birthmother.
I can't tell you all the emotions running through my body. I'm the one who is good in a crisis, but this one was a massive one. I did my best to hold it together. I spoke to Mike, and told him about our family, our adoption plans, and tried to determine what he meant by maybe he would sign the paperwork, and maybe he wouldn't. He wasn't clear by what he meant because he really didn't know what his plans were if the baby was his. This was a young man struggling to take care of himself without any income, a significant criminal history, and was actively addicted to prescription drugs.
At this point in the process, we literally had 4 attorneys, 3 adoption agencies, and 3 social workers involved. Everyone was giving us advice. All I wanted to know was what should I do to protect my daughter in this situation since she was in the waiting room waiting for what she hoped was her baby brother to be born. Finally, my Georgia attorney said to get her out of the hospital and take her back to the hotel room. Since it was just the 3 of us, that meant leaving Lisa at the hospital for the c-section and birth of what may or may not be our son.
In a slow-motion panic, I swooped up Maggie and told her we have to go back to the hotel room. She knows this is not part of the script as she knew we were waiting for the baby to be born. I hadn't thought everything through, so when she asked me why we were leaving, I LIED and told her we weren't sure everything was okay with the baby's health, and that Mia (her name for her other mom) was going to stay and see how the baby is doing.
I could barely drive us back to the hotel. I was in another world, but Maggie needed me to be her parent. Fortunately, after a few questions, my no-napping child fell asleep on the way back (the advantage of being up since the middle of the night). I carried her up to the hotel room and put her on the bed. I cried, made some phone calls, and cried some more. After talking to some friends, I realized I couldn't leave Lisa at the hospital alone, even though I was very concerned about Maggie's well-being if she saw the baby.
The baby had been born a healthy 6 pounds 9 ounces, and Lisa had him in our adoptive parent suite and was working with the nurse to do all the things you do with a newborn. I was missing everything a new parent wants to experience with their new baby.
I finally decided to explain to Maggie that the baby's health was okay, and that Mia was at the hospital with him, but that we still did not know if we would be adopting him or not. I told her while we were waiting to see if we were going to adopt him, we were going to take care of him like babysitters. Against at least one of our attorney's advice, we opted to take care of him while we sorted this all out. The hospital did not have a nursery, so there would have been no one to take care of him since the birthmother was still planning on the adoption and did not want to see the baby.
When I saw this beautiful baby, and my beautiful wife taking care of him, my heart instantly melted. Maggie jumped up on the hospital bed and wanted to hold him. We showed her how and she was so proud of the idea of being a big sister.
These moments were some of the most difficult moments of my life. How do you hold a newborn that may or may not be yours? How do you try to protect yourself and your family from getting heartbroken? I was the one often reminding everyone that we don't know if this is going to be our baby or not. Yes, I was the kill-joy, but I was trying my best to protect us all. Looking down at this angelic baby and not being able to say welcome to the world, we are your family was so heartbreaking. I wasn't sure what to tell him other than we loved him.
Believe it or not, we never saw this situation coming. We knew adoptions could fall apart, but we always expected it would come from the birthmother, not from someone we didn't even know existed. Since we knew how committed our birthmother was all the way through the birthing process, we had a hard time comprehending what was happening.
When I first met Mike, even though he was only one of three possible birthfathers, and had never been able to get a woman pregnant before, I knew in my gut that he was the birthfather. And when I saw that precious baby for the first time, I knew even more it was going to be his baby with the baby's beautiful black hair.
On the day the baby was born, we arranged to have a rushed paternity test done since that was the logical step to take. Though we paid for 24 hour results, it actually took us 3 days to get the results back.
During that time, we tried everything under the sun to get the birthfather to agree to the adoption. But, once he learned it was his and it was a baby boy, he started to become more clear that he wanted to keep the baby. He told us that if it had been a girl, he probably would have let us adopt her.
The paternity test finally came back and our worst fears came true. It was his.
By this time, Child Protective Services was involved because the baby tested positive for drugs when he was born (he went through withdrawal the first 3 days). They were fully aware of the situation and told us we could not just give the baby to the birthfather if the paternity test came back positive because of his drug and criminal record. Plus, the birthmother had decided that she wasn't going to let him have the baby, and that if we couldn't have him, she would take him. This was a big risk for her because CPS explained to her that she could end up losing both of her kids if she took the baby home.
Not knowing what to do, but definitely wanting to protect this baby in the meantime, we took him back to our hotel room. We cried many tears. Cursed a lot when Maggie was asleep. Talked to a couple of trusted friends who understood the beauty and despair that can come with open adoption. Spoke to lots of attorneys to get their opinions.
Two out of four of our attorneys thought we should fight for the baby and that we would win the case based on the fitness of the birthparents. Another of our attorneys thought we could probably win, but asked us if this is how we wanted to spend the first year of our son's life. It was a lot to think about, and made especially more difficult by looking down at this amazing, vulnerable little baby. He was so incredibly beautiful. The face of an angel.
The baby was born Monday, and it was now Friday. We gave our birthmother a deadline on how long we could do this before a decision would be made. We had told her that something would need to be decided Friday, and if we couldn't make any progress, we were bringing the baby to her on Saturday.
Our birthmother was crying asking us what we wanted her to do. She would do anything to try to fix the situation (including at one point suggesting she could have the birthfather killed by a family member of hers--she meant this). So, we set up one last meeting with the birthfather, birthmother, and the birthfather's mother at a local I-Hop restaurant. The baby, Lisa and Maggie stayed back at the hotel. At this point, none of his biological family had seen him or even a picture.
The birthfather explained how he wanted to get back with the birthmother and raise the child together, which was a complicated proposal considering she had been living with her boyfriend at the time. They argued. The birthmother did her best to plead with him, but it was hard since she was extremely high on pain medication from the c-section. She had taken 30 Oxycodeine in 29 hours since being released from the hospital. It was a wonder she was functioning at all (I am not sure what it would have taken for her to overdose).
The birth grandmother was rational, calm, and likeable. Her son was likeable, too. She suggested that she should take custody of the baby while this was all getting sorted out. I asked the birthmother if this is something she would consider, and she said "hell no."
At one point after the four of us had talked for an hour, I looked across the table and felt like the birthfather was just like my brother Joe. Both very nice and likeable people, and both thinking that keeping their child regardless of the situation they were in would be the best decision.
It occurred to me that I would not want anyone to take a child from my brother if he decided he wanted to keep it, regardless of whether I thought he would be a good parent or not. I also thought about how this is not what we envisioned for our adoption. We like open adoption because people choose to place for adoption, and they get to choose who will parent the baby. Somehow we had really gotten off course. I guess holding a newborn in your arms can do that.
At that moment at the I-Hop, I showed everyone the photos of this beautiful baby I had on my phone. Everyone was so happy to see him, and so appreciative of me sharing the photos with them. The strangeness of this moment will stick with me forever. Afterall, he was technically not my baby, yet we had custody of him over all these people biologically related to him.
We left the I-Hop having changed no one's mind, and having seen that the birthfather had his mom to help raise this child. I knew this woman was a good woman who knew how to take care of a baby and had the resources to do so.
At a red light, I sent a text message to Lisa telling her to pack up our things. Unfortunately, she thought that was good news, and I had to re-text her and tell her no, we were leaving without the baby.
On the longest car ride back to the birthmother's house, she asked what we were going to do. I told her I was going to go get the baby and bring him to her. I cried. She sat mostly in silence, occasionally saying a few cuss words. I tried to keep it together, but kept losing it every few minutes. She suggested she could have another baby for us, and I could only utter out a "no."
I had nothing more to say to our birthmother because she could have prevented this from happening had she told us about this guy and his desire to parent (she knew this before the delivery day we eventually realized). It wasn't that I was so much angry with her, but more I just couldn't even talk to her anymore. The pain I was experiencing was the worst I had felt in my entire life.
I was spent. I had done all I could do to "fix" the situation. God had clearly intended for us to not have this baby, which was so hard to accept after caring for him for 5 days. His angelic face will stay with me forever.
Our emotions were at their worst, but we tried our best to keep them contained for our daughter's sake. She saw us crying again, and said she just wanted to go home. The next day was her birthday, so we agreed to get home in time for her birthday. We didn't care that we had already paid for the hotel room. We just needed to get out of there.
I called the social worker at CPS and explained to him what was happening. I wanted him to come get the baby and take him back, but he wouldn't saying something about state policy. I then wanted to take the baby to the hospital where he was born since we knew the staff there, but they would not allow us to do that either (so much for safe haven laws). Our attorney advised us to take the baby directly back to the birthmother since she is the one who gave us custody, so as hard as I knew this would be, I agreed to it.
We drove our precious baby over to our birthmother's house, crying as quietly as we could (Maggie already had headphones on watching a movie in the car). Lisa refused to get out of the car, and I definitely didn't want Maggie to go in. This was not a happy occasion. It was the hardest thing I had ever done.
As much as I tried not to bond with this baby, it was too late. I loved him like I had known him my whole life. He was a part of me, and God was making me give him back (yes, that is how I looked at it). My wife and daughter were devastated, and both needed me to help them get through this.
I gave our birthmother the things I had for him so she would have some stuff to take care of him. She said her boyfriend was at the store buying some things for him, which I pray was true.
I went back to the car and had Lisa and Maggie say goodbye to the baby. I picked up his tiny body out of his car seat and carried him into her house. I held him and hugged him, and could barely feel anything as the moment was so surreal. I handed him to our birthmother who was out of it from the pain medications she was taking, and pleaded with her to please take care of him. I glanced in the kitchen and saw the oven door was still open because this was her only source of heat on this cold day. I remember her saying how light he was, and then didn't hear her anymore.
I kissed his forehead and said "Goodbye, my angel. I love you."
And from that moment on, I cried for almost an entire month both internally and externally. I never would have guessed that this experience would feel like having a child die. The first two weeks were extremely difficult, but we are doing better, but still feeling some depression over the loss of the baby. Our six year old is still sorting out her confusion about what happened. I suppose time will help us heal.
We pray this precious baby ends up living a good life somehow, and that our worst fears for him don't come true. We spoke to the grandmother 4 days after we first left. She still hadn't seen him, but she had a picture of him that she sent us. I was relieved just knowing he was still alive. The grandmother was sorry for our loss, and there wasn't much more to be said. We don't imagine talking to our birthmother, or probably anyone from that situation again.
It is time for us to move on.
We are comforted knowing one day the right baby will find us. We pray God shows us the way.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Loving Moms Hope to Adopt Again
Lisa and Kathy
Meet Kathy and Lisa
Hello! We are Kathy and Lisa from Georgia. We are so grateful that you are reading our letter and hope it gives you a glimpse of who we are as a family. Growing our family is something we have wanted for a long time, and we can’t tell you enough how much we appreciate you giving us the chance to make our dreams come true.  |
| The Family on Christmas Morning |
Getting to Know Us
We met in Washington, DC, over 15 years ago while Lisa was working for the Associated Press and Kathy was in graduate school for social work. Believe it or not, we first met online in a discussion forum about one of our favorite bands, the Indigo Girls. We talked for weeks online, and Lisa finally convinced Kathy to meet for coffee at Starbucks. At our first coffee date, we had an instant connection and felt like we had known each other for years. We always smile when we are watching movies filmed in Washington, DC, because we almost always see the patio of the Starbucks where we had our first date!
When we first began dating, Kathy was a big animal lover and Lisa didn’t have a single pet (though she was raised on a farm!). Lisa was extremely neat and organized, and Kathy was someone who liked to be organized through the piles-of-stuff system. Lisa liked to work like crazy and Kathy was someone who enjoyed more balance in life. Kathy has always liked to come up with the big plans or dreams, and Lisa has always been the more conservative one who gets a little nervous (and excited) about the ideas Kathy comes up with. All of these differences were things we had to work through the first 3-4 years, but our relationship became much stronger as a result.
Early on in our relationship we both worked hard and had an active lifestyle. We both enjoyed going camping, traveling, going to concerts (our musical tastes vary from the Dixie Chicks to Melissa Etheridge to U2 to the symphony), attending sporting events regularly, enjoying the company of good friends, and visiting with our families whenever we could.
Though we loved living in Washington, DC, we both knew we wanted to have children one day, so we decided to move to the Atlanta area since we felt it is a much better place to raise children. After years of watching our friends become parents, we finally knew we were ready to have children, too. We felt our relationship was strong and our lives were in a place where we could be devoted to raising our children.
 |
| Kathy and Maggie at the beach |
In 2005, we were blessed with adopting Maggie into our family. She is incredibly loving, outgoing, and active. She would have a play date 24/7 if we let her. She is such a kind soul, and amazes us each day with her limitless love and care for others. She loves going swimming, playing soccer, doing karate, gymnastics, and riding her bike. Maggie goes to school at an excellent Montessori school in the neighborhood. This is an excellent school and we particularly like it because her classmates come from all racial and ethnic backgrounds. She is excited about having a little brother or sister, and we know she will make a great big sister because she is very loving, gentle, and protective.
Maggie knows she is adopted and talks to her birthmother periodically. She knows the story of her adoption, and it has been helpful for her to have so many other friends who are also adopted. She sees her birthmother as an extension of our family, and we support her in maintaining their relationship. We have the utmost respect for Maggie’s birthmother, and welcome her into our family to the extent she is comfortable. We have honored the level of contact we promised her, and we would do the same with you if you chose our family.
We are an active family! Though we enjoy our quiet, do-nothing time at home, it seems most of our free time is spent with friends and family doing all kinds of fun activities. We enjoy gatherings with other families so the kids can play and the adults can talk. Some of the things we enjoy: climbing nearby Stone Mountain, swimming, playing on the swing set, go to bouncing places with friends, exploring places like the Children’s Museum and the Georgia Aquarium, going to sporting events, seeing shows like musicals or the circus, doing story time together before bedtime, walking our dogs, and playing board games together.
We are members of a wonderful Methodist Church in Atlanta. This is an amazing church that prides itself on the diversity of its members, and its wonderful children’s program. Every Sunday we feel like we are with family, and Maggie loves it because she has so many friends there, many of whom are adopted themselves. Our church family is excited about us adopting another child!
We have had many wonderful travel experiences as a family. Each year we take two trips with other families who have created their families through adoption—every Spring Break, we rent a big house at Disney World together, and during the Summer we travel to the beach or lake together. We all enjoy these trips so much, and we think it is great for our children to grow up with other children who share the adoption experience.
 |
| Lisa at Disney World |
Kathy Talks About Lisa
Lisa is from a small town in Pennsylvania, and was raised partially by her grandparents and partially by an adoptive family. As soon as she was old enough, she left home and went to college to study business. If there is one thing everyone knows about Lisa is that she is a hardworking person at everything she does. In addition to working so hard at her day job, she also volunteers at the church and to help our friends with various projects even when she doesn’t have the time or energy to do so. She is definitely someone you can count on and is a truly loyal friend.
Lisa is an amazing wife and mother. She has always been the romantic in the family (when we first met, she sent me GIGANTIC flower arrangements at my office). She still enjoys giving and receiving flowers and cards for special occasions and everyday life. Date night is a favorite activity for her! She loves to go to movies and romantic dinners.
As busy as Lisa is, she always makes sure she attends Maggie’s school events and extra-curricular activities because she knows how important it is to be there for our family. She is such a good momma that she will leave work in the middle of the day to be at Maggie’s school for whatever activity is going on. I know she will be just as excited to do this for our next child.
Though Lisa is very serious during the day at her job, she is really a big kid at heart, which is partially why she has so many people who care deeply about her. Lisa loves to come up with ideas like pitching a tent in the living room and inviting the neighborhood kids over for a sleepover. She is also the first to volunteer to take Maggie and her friends to the latest children’s movie, and then load them up on concession stand goodies!
Lisa enjoys working on projects around the house, often with her little helper Maggie at her side. In her down time, she likes to workout, read crime novels, read up about the latest in the entertainment world, and watch reality TV shows (she loves Top Chef, which is particularly funny since she doesn’t cook!).
At the end of the day, she is the one to make sure we all cuddle as a family. We really work well together and balance each other out.
Lisa talks about Kathy
Kathy is the most giving and loving person that I have ever met. She gives from her heart to both Maggie and me unconditionally. Whether we have a cold, a skinned knee, or hurt feelings, she shows compassion and really cares how we are feeling. When I first met her, it was her maternal wisdom and the way she talked that drew me to her. That’s one of the many reasons that I committed to her as my life partner and wife. She is an advocate and force to be reckoned with for all that she cares about. And this is what makes her the constant rock in our lives and the caring person that I love so deeply.
 |
| Kathy and her parents in North Carolina |
She is the “supermom” that plans our fun events and family vacations. I can come home from a crazy day at the office, and she has researched a full week’s vacation or a weekend event to present to us. She keeps us on track on a regular basis to truly “have fun” in life—not to get bogged down with the day-to-day stuff. I may be the big kid, but she’s the actual cruise director in our family and ensures that we all have a great time and make unforgettable family memories together. And she makes sure to photograph every outing or special event, and then update all our family and friends with a website or Facebook update. This makes her even more endearing as a mother, wife, and friend.
Kathy is the one who is home with Maggie because of her flexible work schedule. Somehow, she manages to be a full time mom and to work full time. Though she still likes to operate from the pile system mentioned previously, she is always super organized when it comes to making sure our child’s needs are met. She is always researching schools, summer camps, the latest toy or parenting article. She is very active at our daughter’s school, and she loves to shop for clothes and books for Maggie.
She is always the first to invite friends over for cookouts, sporting events, and Thanksgiving or our Christmas parties. She is known for cooking a massive Italian dinner feast for our friends and family every Christmas. A little known fact about Kathy is that she likes to go to musicals. This is something special she and Maggie do together, and I know she is looking forward to sharing this love with our next child.
She loves Maggie unconditionally and it has been amazing to see her grow as a mother. Maggie would state “you are the best momma ever” if she were writing this up herself. I have seen a bond grow so much between them that Kathy can read her like a book and be there for our child. She gets down on her level and discusses feelings and views with Maggie so intently. At the end of the day, Kathy keeps our entire family in touch with our feelings and helps us to remember to be compassionate to others.
Where We Live
Our home is in Decatur, Georgia, a charming suburb of Atlanta. We are fortunate to live in a very friendly neighborhood. Every evening our neighborhood is filled with families pushing strollers, walking, riding skateboards and big wheels, or taking their dogs for walks. It is a great neighborhood because it is one where we all know each other and look out for one another.
We live in a great home that has plenty of room for children, including a big fenced-backyard that has a play set. Our house has three bedrooms, and we are so excited to turn our 3rd bedroom into a nursery for the new baby! There are lots of families with young children in the neighborhood, and we have great schools nearby.
We love to entertain our friends and family, so our house is often the place to be for cookouts, play dates, game nights, and dinners. We have known our 12 year old neighbor since he was 3. He spends a lot of his time playing at our house, and he has been like a big brother to Maggie, teaching her how to swing, play soccer, and the beginnings of skateboarding!
Our three dogs (Tucker, Sadie, and Sara) and cat (Kenny) are all wonderful pets and are great with children. Each has their own personality, and all of them are very cuddly. Tucker is very protective and is the boss of the other dogs, even though he recently became our blind dog. Sadie’s nickname is “Licky” because she is always giving kisses and can’t seem to get enough attention. Sara is our newest dog, and she is incredibly playful and cuddly. Kenny is our cat with about 100 lives. He is 15 years old, and acts more like a dog than a cat.
Our city is very family friendly, with lots of nearby parks, community pools, kid’s sports programs, beautiful lakes, and lots of family events, our own 4th of July parade and fireworks, and frequent concerts. We live only a short drive to Atlanta where we can take advantage of the Georgia Aquarium, the Atlanta Zoo, the Children’s Museum, professional sporting events, concerts, and the Center for Puppetry Arts.
What We Do For Work
Kathy is a social worker by training, and has worked the past 6 years as the founder and executive director of a nonprofit agency for gay families. She is very passionate about helping people and political activism, and has worked hard to make Georgia a better place for the many gay families living here. Kathy loves this job because she is passionate about what she does, and it allows her a flexible schedule so she can be a stay-at-home mom when the new baby arrives.
Lisa has worked as an accounting manager in broadcasting for over 20 years now. She is responsible for 6 radio stations and 3 nationally syndicated radio shows. Lisa especially enjoys getting to meet celebrities when they come into the radio stations. Lisa has flexibility to work from home, which will be especially helpful when the new baby arrives. One of our favorite things about the type of work Lisa does is that it gives us access to just about all the entertainment and sporting events that come to Atlanta. Just this last year we have seen Ringling Brother’s Circus, Sesame Street Live, Disney on Ice, Mary Poppins, the Atlanta Symphony Christmas Concert, and the Atlanta Dream basketball games to name a few!
 |
| Lisa, Kathy, and Maggie at home |
Our Family
Family is so very important to us. Truthfully, we consider many people in our life who are not biologically related to us as family, in addition to the family we are biologically related to. Most of our close friends who live near us are like family to us, and we are all very fortunate to be able to count on each other when we need to. Having close friends we can count on is something important to us, and has been especially helpful since we have become parents.
Maggie’s birthmother is also a part of our family. We are actually in touch with several of her family members who were involved with the adoption process, and we expect Maggie will get to meet her younger siblings when she is a little older. We talk with her birthmother quite regularly through the phone and e-mail, and send her regular photos. We have visited with her once since Maggie was born, and we expect to see her again this coming year.
Kathy’s has two brothers who live nearby, and between them they have 5 children who would be cousins and playmates to a new baby. Kathy’s parents live part of the year in Florida and the other part of the year in the North Carolina mountains. We have a close relationship with her parents, and visit with them frequently.
Lisa’s sister lives in Pennsylvania with her husband and two children (two more cousins!). We don’t see them often because they do not like to travel, but we do stay in contact with them. Lisa’s mom lives in Arizona, and we stay in regular contact with her and try to visit with each other whenever we can. Lisa’s mom was recently here for Maggie’s baptism.
 |
| Maggie and Lisa in North Carolina |
Parenting
After becoming parents to Maggie, we realized we had no idea what parenting was really going to be like. We had no idea the sacrifices we would make, or the incredible joy we would experience watching her grow up and explore the world together. Without a doubt, we both feel that parenting has been the most important and rewarding work of our lives. It is really hard sometimes, but neither of us would trade it for anything in the world, which is why we would like to share our lives with another child. We love being parents and are excited to expand our family!
We both believe giving a child a safe, nurturing and loving home is the foundation for good parenting. We are also fortunate to have the financial resources to give our children great family vacations, the best schooling, and lots of extra-curricular activities depending on our kids’ interests.
Our Promises to Your Child:
We promise to love your child unconditionally, always, no matter what! We will give lots of hugs and kisses, and be ready to hold them when they are sad, have a boo-boo, or just need to be held. We will provide them with a safe, stable, and loving home. We will encourage them to explore their talents and interests through activities and play. We will inspire your child to be a kind, compassionate and loving soul. We will be there to sing, dance, play silly games, and laugh each day. We will expose them to different cultures and people through friendships, travel, food, and other activities that will inspire them to understand and appreciate different cultures. We will make sure they get the very best education so that they can pursue whatever dreams they may have. We promise to create lots of great memories by going on family vacations every year. They will always be surrounded by loving friends and family who will support them in life.
We will tell them their adoption story, and always treat their adoption as something to be celebrated. We will make sure they understand your love for them, and maintain a level of contact with you that is agreed upon during the adoption process. Your child will be surrounded by other children who have been adopted so they will never feel alone or different because of their adoption.
 |
| Kathy, Maggie & Lisa at a basketball game! |
We know it is impossible to sum up our lives with a few words and photos, but hopefully we have given you a glimpse into our hearts. If you choose us, we will be eternally grateful to you for fulfilling our dream of adding a child to our family. We make this promise to you - we will do everything in our power to make sure your baby is not only unconditionally loved and cherished, but given every opportunity in life to learn, laugh, explore, make mistakes, and triumph. They will know of the love you have for them and the courage it took for you to give them this opportunity.
Thank you again for taking the time to learn about our family. If you feel we are the right family for you and your baby, or if you would like to learn more about us, please contact our Adoption Caseworker, Olga, at AdoptHelp at 1-800-637-7999, toll free. Or you can e-mail KathyandLisa@gmail.com or call Kathy at 404-808-3350.
Much Love,
Kathy and Lisa
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)