Ahhhhhh! For some reason today has just been a total adoption frustration day. Maybe it is because there are so many birthdays today--lots of baby ones. I don't know, just feeling frustrated.
I wrote the adoption agency this morning, and finally received a reply at the close of business. They realize how hard it is, but don't have any recommendations for us at this time. We just need to wait. Well, that's a lot easier said than done. I don't know that I expected them to say anything different, but maybe I was secretly hoping they would say, oh, we see how hard it is for you, so let us find a match for you this weekend. That would have been nice, but I also know there are a lot of families who are walking around wounded right now who could use a match to help their sanity.
The important thing for me to remember is that it is not about the match, but about the right baby and birth parents finding us. We know this is true, but we try to rush it anyway. But, Lisa and I have big hearts, so we are ready to love on a new little baby, along with our big girl baby.
We had friends over with their adorable baby Adam who is adopted through open adoption. Maggie was so in to playing with him. I wish I could make her a big sister now because it seems so natural and important to her. I am glad she really values family (we've done at least something right).
This weekend I feel like I want to decide if I should go even further into the marketing our family to prospective birth parents, or not. It is more money. More time. But, more birth parents will see our profile. Maybe that is a better way to go, but jeez, we paid that fancy agency all that money thinking they would help us find a birth family that was right for us. I guess they almost did, or maybe we overlooked too many things and it wasn't really such a good match after all. It is always easy to Monday morning quarterback.
I think the people at our agency are good people. I am sure our caseworker would love to find us a match if she could. And, I am sure she is used to listening to whiny adoptive parents. It is hard not to whine from time-to-time in this process. I tend to think if you never whine or get mad during this process, you are probably not doing something right or are in denial. Denial is not a bad place to be :-)
Every weekend brings new surprises for the families at our agency. I hope lots of new surprises come to all the great waiting families (I am pretty convinced the majority of them are probably great families).
Tomorrow is Lisa's birthday, an Easter egg hunt with our church, a soccer game, a birthday dinner at Joe's Crab Shack (that's what she wants), and a big fancy cake at home afterward. It is going to be a long day.