We are blessed that we already have a jam-packed nursery ready for the delight of whatever little angel comes into our lives. Between all the stuff we bought, and the generosity of so many friends who just had babies, we have a full nursery ready to go.
We are open to having a baby of any gender, ethnicity, or race, so we know it is in God's hands as to who we are blessed to have in our lives. Last month we thought we would be adopting a boy, so even though the nursery was designed to be gender neutral, we did add some typical boy art work, and specifically I made some wooden letters of our baby's name that are currently hanging on the wall.
The weirdness of our failed adoption story from last month is that we were able to name the baby with the name we had chosen if it was to be a boy. Now, we are torn as to whether we should use that name again if it is a boy, or whether it is like a child who died, and we should not use the same name. I am leaning toward wanting to use the same name if it is a boy.
Yes, it feels a little weird, but at the same time I think it helps us to reclaim some of what we lost. I think we gave the little baby boy in Louisiana a strong name, and I hope that helps in some way (if you believe in that sort of thing).
Anyway, our nursery that we are going to re-organize this weekend has his name on the wall. Some people have suggested we need to take it down for our own grieving process. I don't feel like we need to unless we 1. have a girl, or 2. decide to name the baby something else. It doesn't make me feel down when I see it on the wall. It makes me wonder if we will have a baby boy, or whether we will get the surprise of another girl.
Weigh in if you have any thoughts. I purposely haven't put his name here because I am not sure I want you to know :-)